“How much do you charge?” the woman behind me at the checkout stand in Target asked me.
I thought to myself do my yoga pants and stay at home mom t-shirt scream hooker to you?!
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“Oh sorry. I meant how much do you charge to watch per child?” she asked.
“I’m not a baby sitter ma’am,” I said.
“You’re not their nanny?” she said with a puzzled look on her face.
“No I’m not their nanny,” I replied back. I paid for my groceries, and as I began placing my bags in the cart the woman asks me, “Can I ask how old you are?”
In my head I’m thinking NO. No bitch you can’t. I’m not asking you how old you are because I KNOW it’s rude to ask people, who look old enough to wear depend underwears, their age.
“I’m 22,” I responded with a smile on my face.
“Wow! I thought you were 25-26. You’re young and hispanic looking. I thought you were their nanny. Are you sure you’re not their nanny?” she said.
This woman has got to be trolling me.
“You’re right I AM hispanic, but just because I am Mexican it doesn’t mean I watch children or clean toilets for a living, and I told you already ma’am I’M NOT THERE FUCKING NANNY. People like you are what’s wrong with this country. Have a good one!” I snapped at her and pushed my cart with my groceries and my kids out the door.
I really don’t know if this woman was trolling me or if she’s just that ignorant and rude, but never in my life have I felt that antagonized.
Her assuming that I’m the nanny based on my looks is like me assuming that the late 30 something year old mom had conceived her baby via fertility treatments.
I came to a realization that no matter what I say or do there will always be people out there who will judge me because of my age, because I’m hispanic and my partner is white, because my partner is 17 years older than me. I face judgemental comments and stares from people everyday, but I do not let it bring me down.
There will always be people who assume I’m my kids aunt, sister, or even worse their nanny. And, when I tell them “No, I’m actually their mother,” I have to prepare myself for the judgement that might ensue.
I have to better prepare myself to deal with judgments and assumptions that come with being a young mom especially as my children grow older and enter into school. I will always be the young face in a sea of older faces at my children’s school. That’s just something I have to deal with.
The looks and the comments. That’s just something that as a young mother I have to deal with. And when I say deal with it I don’t mean allowing people to tear me down as a young mom. If someone says something to judge my character as a mother that’s not true I don’t ever stand for it. There is nothing wrong with fighting back. You fight back, and defend your stance as a young mom. I wanted to punch that woman at Target right in her smug little face, but I didn’t. Not just because I had my kids with me, but because violence typically leads nowhere with people. You can’t teach an old dog whose set in their ways new tricks.
If you’re a young mom like me remember being a young mom does not limit you. Motherhood hits us all in the same ways. No matter how prepared a woman thinks she is because she read books and took parenting classes nothing will ever fully prepare you for what motherhood really entails. Nothing.
If you’re a young mom remember there will always be people who will judge you and who will not be afraid to voice their opinion to you. Do not fear these type people. You stand proud as a young mother. Do not let anyone tear you down. Do not let anyone tell you that you can’t because you had a child at a young age. Your world is open to thousand of possibilities. There’s nothing like having a child (a mini you) to further motivate to better yourself. Young motherhood does not have to limit you.
“If you ever feel like giving up just remember there’s a little person who’s watching you. Who wants to be just like you. Don’t disappoint them.”
Hey Beautiful! Thank you for reading!