According to the Candies Foundation over 600,000 teenage girls (teenage is defined as ages 13-19) will get pregnant each year.
Do you know how many teen moms graduate high school? Like actually graduate with a traditional high school diploma.
Only 38%. That’s it. That’s a sad statistic isn’t it?
In August of 2011 I became one of the 600,000 teenage girls to become pregnant. My little teenage self was devastated. My mother was left crushed and feeling like a failure as a parent.
Those two pink lines changed my world forever. They turned my world upside down.
But it was for the better.
Looking back now I realize there was a reason why it happened.
I was young and dumb— yes, but I was heading down a wrong path.
I was raised in a very religious household, but once my parents divorced and I entered into high school I rebelled like hell towards any authoritative figure. I got into a lot of trouble in school; I got into fights, I cursed at my teachers, I skipped school a lot, I got arrested (multiple times), and ended up on probation.
I was a mess and spiraling out of control.
Seeing those two pink lines for the first time changed my whole outlook on life. Although admittedly I cried a lot at first, and I mourned the loss of my teenage self. I knew that I would have to make a change in my behavior in order to better myself for my daughters sake.
I knew bringing another little human into this world was going to require work, and I had to mentally prepare myself as much as I could.
Being pregnant in high school is a lot harder than being pregnant in college in my experience at least.
Students will be a lot more judgmental. Every one will talk, but no one will say anything directly to your face. Everyone will be nosey. They’ll want to know if you’re going to get married or if you even know who the father of your baby is. It’s difficult when your trying to focus on your studies, and you can feel your peers judging you left and right.
Now before you judge that girl in your school with the protruding baby bump put yourself in her shoes for a quick minute. She’s probably already feeling scared, ostracized, and alone. She doesn’t need your judgmental looks or comments. She just needs a reassuring smile that everything will be okay.
None of us are immune to teen pregnancy. I’ve seen ALL TYPES of girls my age get pregnant from the typical slut that gets around to all the guys, to the girl who you look at and think who would even have sex with that, to the Pentecostal girl whose Instagram account is filled with bible scriptures and your jaw drops when you find out Miss holier-than-thou is going to become a teenage mother.
I’m telling you NONE OF US ARE IMMUNE. If you are having sex there is ALWAYS a possibility you can get pregnant,
PLEASE WEAR CONDOMS IF YOU’RE A MALE, AND IF YOU’RE A FEMALE GET ON BIRTH CONTROL. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR SEX LIFE!
YOU THINK SCHOOL SUCKS? YOU THINK WORK SUCKS? IMAGINE TRYING TO IT ALL WITH A BABY. IT’S NOT EASY, AND IT’S NOT FUN WAKING UP EVERY TWO HOURS TO A CRYING NEWBORN. IT’S NOT CHEAP EITHER. CHILDREN ARE EXPENSIVE. I wrote a post awhile back called “The disadvantages of being a young mother”. You can check it out here if you’re interested in reading about the harsh reality of being a teen mother.
They say that abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy which is 100% true, but let’s be real here. I’m not going to tip toe around the subject. Most and I say most teenage kids are having sex! You may think well my little Susie Q is such a good girl, she gets good grades, and sings in the church choir. Just because you think your kid is a good kid doesn’t mean they can’t slip up. WE ALL make poor decisions especially as teenagers. That’s why it’s important to talk to your children about sex and birth control. Don’t be a naive parent. Think back to when you were a teen. Were you having sex at their age? If you were then most likely your kid is too. That’s why it’s so important to educate your children on sex not only to avoid teen pregnancy, but diseases as well.
High school is rough as it is. Now just imagine having to deal with that on top of being pregnant. It’s one of the hardest life experiences I’ve had to deal with. Not only did I have to deal with the pressures of being a high school senior, but I suffered from Hyperemesis gravidarum. I spent a lot of weekends early on in my pregnancy in the ER hooked up to an IV because I was severely dehydrated from all the vomiting. It was a rough pregnancy, but I still managed to make school work.
Thankfully for me I was able to finish high school a semester early. Before my baby bump was visible, but everyone already knew anyways. Everyone assumed that I had dropped out or left to a continuation school, but little did they know that I had just graduated a semester earlier than them. I worked my ass off that last semester. I actually gave it my 100% something I hadn’t done previously. I got 4 A’s and one B (Ms.Davies gave me a B in case any of my fellow peers are wondering! Her class was killer). I was so determined to get a high school diploma. I did not want to be that 62%. I wanted to make my parents and most importantly my daughter proud.
I was one in 600,000 teenage girls who became pregnant in 2011.
I may have been a statistic; however I still graduated high school, and a semester early at that!
I did it. I was a teen mom and I still graduated high school. I am proof that you can do it. It’s not an easy road, but it can be done.
I am a teen mother. I got pregnant at the age of 17 for the first time, and delivered my daughter in 2012 at the age of 18.
I am a young mother of two. I got pregnant again in 2013 at the age of 19 and delivered my son in 2014 at the age of 20.
I may not be considered a teen mom now since I’m an “old” 21 year old ;p
But I will forever identify myself as a teen/young mom. Why? Well think about it…18 years from now my kids will be all grown up. Some of my friends might just be getting started into their journey of parenthood while I in my late 30’s will be an empty nester. When I say I’m 38, and yes I have kids; my kids are 18 and 21. People will automatically start doing the math in their head and realize I was a teen mom when I had my first child.
I will always be the younger mom in the crowd.
I am a teen mom. I am a young mom.
I always will be.
And I don’t care.
I love being a mother.
It’s not easy, but trust me when I say it’s worth it.
After giving birth I realized I had a far greater purpose. I realized I was now a mother to a beautiful little girl. I realized nothing else mattered but her. I did not attend my prom nor my graduation party afterwards. Why? Well because my daughter Neveah was only a few weeks old, and I couldn’t bear to leave her to party with my peers. I just couldn’t.
I don’t regret any of it. I know too many young “moms” that shouldn’t even be called mothers that give us young moms who actually take care of our children a bad name. Shame on them. I think they’re soulless. How could motherhood not change you? That’s why I always tell young girls that if you want to live and party, then don’t be stupid and use protection. Don’t bring a child into this world if you’re not prepared to raise it!
I loved and would give anything to go back in time just relive all that time I spent with my precious newborn. Neveah was and still is my best friend. 🙂
A real mother whether young or old learns what it truly means to sacrifice for her children because being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you have gained from having one.
Thank you to the staff at Yuba City High School for being compassionate and understanding. A huge thank you to my counselor at the time Mrs. Zamora. You were the first person I told. I remember fighting back the tears, and you just hugged me. You never once made me feel stupid or told me I couldn’t do it. Thank you for believing in me Mrs.Zamora. Thank you Sandra, Krysten, and Sergio. I know we don’t speak much anymore actually hardly at all, but I still love all of you very much. You were amazing, and supportive friends. We shared many great laughs and memories.♥