All moms get the unwanted advice and comments, but young moms especially. Young moms get all the stigma and shame along with the snarky comments and unsolicited advice about how we should parent our kid(s).
I usually welcome comments and questions because I like being able to share my opinions on young mothers. I am a young mom, so who better to answer right? However, some of the comments and judgments made against us young moms are completely inappropriate. I honestly don’t know if some people are just that ignorant or if they’re purposely trying to get a rise out of me. Either way it’s uncalled for.
Here’s a list of some of the comments and questions I get frequently that have me rolling my eyes so hard to the back of my head I think I just saw my brain!
1.) Babies shouldn’t be having babies.
Teens and young adults are always so misunderstood. People love to still treat us like children, but expect us to act like adults. We’re not babies, seriously. Just stop. Don’t even go there with that. Every day hundreds of young girls are getting pregnant, so if “babies having babies” really bothers you go help out the Candies Foundation otherwise shut the hell up.
2.) Do you know who the baby daddy is?
Okay, don’t use that word “baby daddy”. The proper term is father, and whether you’re young or old chances are if you’re an unmarried pregnant woman people will ask you this question a lot. For the hell of it just say, “No, I don’t know who the father is.” 😀
3.) They have the same father right?
Obviously this is only a question you’ll get if you have more than one kid, and you can answer it however you please. Most people who know me or read my blog know our family situation. I don’t owe any strangers an explanation.
4.) You NEED to get married!
We are NOT in the 19th century anymore. I get the religious reasons for why people do it, but personally I don’t want to get married just for the sake of getting married. We’re going to get married on our own terms.
5.) Haven’t you heard of condoms?
No I haven’t (rolls eyes). You do know condoms break, and well the plan B pill isn’t 100% effective? My daughter Neveah is living proof of that.
6.) Why didn’t you just abort?
I wouldn’t ask you, “Why didn’t your mom just swallow you?” Seriously. Never. Ever. Ask any woman that question.
7.) Oh are you their nanny?
No. I’m not their nanny. I am not their babysitter. I am their mother. You heard my kids call me mommy, so why do you feel the need to ask me?
8.) Oh but you look soooo young to be a mother!
Thanks I’ll take that as a compliment, but to be fair lots of older moms look young too. It’ all relative to how you take care of yourself. Can you please stop mentioning how young I look now?
9.) You’re Hispanic/Mormon/ Southern…No wonder!
No wonder what? Just because a young woman is Hispanic or Mormon it doesn’t automatically mean she’s going to start popping out babies by the age of 18. Stop stereotyping.
10.) You don’t look like a mom?
I didn’t know that moms were supposed to have a standard look to them? If that look includes mom jeans and driving a mini vans, then I guess you’re right. I don’t look like a mom.
11.) You’re life must be ruined now.
You might think having children early will “ruin” your life, but they actually give life a whole new meaning. They suck the complete life out of you, but it’s totes amaze.
12.) I could NEVER imagine doing what you’re doing at your age! I’m so glad I got to live and have my freedom first.
You don’t know that for certain. If you didn’t have your children at a young age, then why do you assume you would have never been able to do it? Age has nothing to do with maturity. We all mature and grow in different ways through different life experiences. Who knows what motherhood at an early age could have done to you? And as far as freedom goes I still have it. I just don’t have as much of it as my peers who are in their early twenties do, and to be quite frank I don’t care. I’m busy raising my children. That’s what’s most important to me right now.
The next time you see that young woman walking through the grocery store or at the park playground with her kid(s) be mindful of what you say to her. I’m sure she’s already heard it all. It gets really old and tiring hearing people say the same snarky comments every time. We know. We hear it all the time. People love to project their own insecurities into the vulnerable. If you’re a young mom like me just know it’s okay to fight back against the judgment made towards you.♥